Ok… this story is absolutely true…

I’m sitting at my desk doing OCMS stuff when I hear this shriek followed by gagging noises and various attempts to scream my name.

 
I rush into the bedroom to find our baby daughter has taken a lump of crap out of one of her diapers and was happily munching on it with a big ol’ grin.  I don’t know if you know this, but when dried crap is reconstituted with saliva, it becomes potent enough to fill a room.
 
So while my wife is throwing up I scoop the baby up and take her into the shower with me for a serious scrub-down.  She literally had sh*t-breath, and she got her two teeth brushed for the first time!
 
Try and top that…
Alan is a web architect, stand-up comedian, and your friendly neighborhood Grammar Nazi. You can stalk him on the Interwebs via Google+, Facebook and follow his ass on Twitter @ocmodshop.