Baroque (Wii) Review

baroque-wii

Bad RPG, BAD!


Baroque is a great game for those who are in love with anime art. For those in love with gameplay or RPGs in general: I’m sad to report that this game sucks. In fact, it plays so badly that a thousand tiny voices cry out every time the game is turned on. Or that could just be my neurons suffocating from the lack of stimuli. Flash! Bang! Boom! The game starts like a 60’s Batman episode with anime characters. And then a split second later, the excitement is over.

What happened Baroque? Why are you such a piece of crap? So promising, and yet, such a disappointment.

Your character in Baroque awakens to a world shrouded in mystery. You meet an angel with red eyes who gives you a gun and then tells you to explore the Neuro Tower in search for your true mission. You, a boy with brown hair, are r-tarded. Not only are you mute, uninteresting, and have no personality, but you can’t remember a damn thing, and people point out your r-tardedness consistently to your face. They might as well have made the main character a frickin’ carrot.

A Dark Twisted Fantasy
The world of Baroque is one inhabited by twisted people. Meta-Beings, Angels, the Order of Malkuth, and the “Neuro Tower” are all tangled threads of the warped tapestry that is Baroque.


A World That Changes Every Time You Play
The protagonist must head to the lowest floor of the Neuro Tower and fight through the foul denizens of the world. The Neuro Tower itself is also constantly distorting, and hence, the protagonist will be introduced to a new labyrinth every time he sets foot inside.

Battles with Meta Beings
Strange and twisted Meta-Beings will impede your progress through the Neuro Tower. You will need to use your purification abilities as well as a vast assortment of weapons, armor, and even parasites.